Moving past eleven

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. –Psalm 73:25 (NIV)

One of my foxhole brothers recently took a weekend trip with his family on the Buffalo River. He spent a good amount of money, time, and effort to ensure the experience would be a positive one for his wife, his son and daughter-in-law, and his two grandchildren. An avid lover of the outdoors, he was especially interested in meaningful interaction with his 11-year-old grandson.

In his mind, he and his grandson would enjoy hiking together, marvel at the beauty of God’s creation together, and have a conversation or two that would help them connect. He was excited for the opportunity to share his appreciation of mountains and rivers and wildlife and waterfalls and campfires with a new generation. Unfortunately, the young man was having none of it.

The boy, to the disappointment of my friend and the chagrin of his parents, spent the weekend pining for whatever he thought he was missing by coming on this useless excursion to this gosh-awful location. Wasting his time hanging out in nature with his family was clearly not on his agenda, and he was in no mood to make the best of it. Sulking and complaining the entire time, he managed to dampen everyone’s spirits, with the possible exception of his little sister, who seemed oblivious to her brother’s determination to avoid having fun at all costs.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. –Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

My friend shared that his initial reaction was to feel hurt, rejected, angry. Did his grandson not realize the effort and expense that had been invested by the adults in his life to create a special experience especially for him? Or did he just not care? And was it not enough for him to have a bad weekend himself? Why did he find it necessary to spoil the time for everyone involved?

While he was dealing with these feelings, the Spirit spoke to my friend: “I know it hurts, my son. I’ve felt that pain. After I’ve sacrificed so much to be with my children, to show them the things I Iove in hopes they would come to love them too, to provide all they need and so much more, so they could enjoy just taking a walk with me. It’s frustrating when they don’t have time, or they distract themselves with things that don’t matter, or they fritter away the days worrying about things I have already taken care of. Sometimes, I just want to shout, ‘HEY, I'M RIGHT HERE AND I LOVE YOU!’”

I remember eleven. Eleven is a tough age. Not a kid anymore, not yet ready to step into a grown-up world. A lot going on inside the body and the mind. It’s no picnic for those living with an 11-year-old either. An 11-year-old who seems to ping-pong unpredictably between sullen and goofy and obnoxious for reasons unknown, even to himself. But eleven passes. I pray and expect my friend has other opportunities to connect with his grandson and possesses the grace to be continually ready with an invitation.

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. –Psalm 73:28 (NIV)

I also pray that we are not perpetually stuck at eleven before our Heavenly Father. I pray we can take our eyes off ourselves and learn the rhythms of walking with Him and acknowledging the care He invested in allowing us to do that. Nothing would make Him happier.